Skinny girl to be...

It's been a long time

2011-11-04T08:20:00.000-07:00

Hello! How is everyone doing. I am not doing well in the diet department. Kicking the fast food addiction is hard. Also kicking the eating when I am stressed and bored addiction is hard too. I think I am finally starting to realize what my really problem is. It's food! I can control it and need to start.

I have gone back to working out. I really do love working out. I never thought I would be like that, but I do. Of course now that I am in the swing of things our car's inspection is due and so I can't go to the gym. Unless of course I want to risk getting a ticket. Hurry up payday!

I have kind of changed my workout routine. I finally listened to my husband and started using the free weights. Just a few times and I already see a difference. What would've taken me weeks to see with the weight machines I am seeing after only a few times of using the free weights. My best friend also got me to use the balance ball. I had always eyed them in the gym but was afraid to use them because I didn't want to be that woman that falls off of them in front of everyone. Once Frankie showed me the correct way to use them I have fell in love. NEVER in my life have I had such an awesome ab workout. Even when I was dancing almost everyday and my teacher would make us do about 500 crunches. I mean I am finally feeling my lower ab muscles actually being worked. Which the machines never get!

On other news, last weekend I walked the AIDS 5k. That was nothing! I mean it was cold and rainy but even after I finished I still went to the gym because I felt so good. I have felt so good that in fact I have signed up to do my first running 5k. Thanksgiving morning I will be waking up and running the Turkey Trot. There's another one in December that I am going to enter as well. I am going to work my way up. Once I can run a 5k no problem then I will do a 10k, a half marathon and then a full marathon. Who knows maybe someday I will do a triathlon. It remains to be seen.

I already made my playlist for my 5k it is as follows

Tommorow-Death Cab for Cutie

Into the Mirror-Minus the Bear

Backass-Karen O featuring Peaches

Everlong-Foo Fighters

Empire State of Mind-Jay Z & Alicia Keys

4 minutes- Madonna, Justin Timberlake, & Timbaland

Its my life-No Doubt

I know you want me (Calle Ocho)-Pitbull

100 yard dash-Raphael Saadiq

Last night-The Strokes

Let Go-Frou Frou

Eye of the Tiger-Survivor

Miles away-Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Sweet disposition-The Temper Trap

Tightrope-Janelle Monae feat Big Boi

1901-Phoenix

Second chance-Peter Bjorn & John

Viva la Vida-Coldplay

So there you go that's my playlist. I would be interested to see other peoples playlist to see what keeps them motivated. Mock me if you want, but yes I do have the song from "Rocky" in there. I also have "Gonna Fly Now" in my iPod too! Hahahaha!

YES! YES! YEEEEEEEES!

2011-06-04T08:10:00.000-07:00

Who has two thumbs and can fit in a size 14 dress? This girl! I haven't weighed myself because I don't want to get caught up in a number. I'm going by how I look.

It's been about 3 weeks and I can already tell a difference. My midsection seems to be shrinking and my legs are looking good. I used to get compliments on my legs because they looked damn good from all the years of dancing. Then they turned into fat girl legs. I had a fear that they wouldn't slim down. My arms are still fat looking. I know they are getting stronger, I have muscles that I never had before and find myself feeling them. I'm such a dork.

So all the changes are starting to happen! Even faster then I thought.

So I'm down to a 14! It's been at least since 2004 since I was that size. I have this gorgeous Audrey Hepburn dress to wear to a friends wedding in two weeks. I got it two weeks ago and couldn't fit in it. That's not the story today though!

So how are you doing?

Onwards and upwards!

I'll feel it in the morning...

2011-05-18T19:09:00.000-07:00

What has two thumbs two babies and just did 1000 crunches? This girl! You read that right! I did a thousand crunches. Man am I feeling good. I've been to the gym and on the elliptical I'm burning at least 321 calories and then I'm doing about 20-25 mins of weight training. I went back to the gym on Saturday and have been back everyday except Monday.

This baby weight ( and beer and McDonalds and laziness weight) is gonna come off in no time. WHAT IS UP?!

Until next time...

Onwards and upwards!

May 17 bishes!!!!

2011-04-28T08:31:00.000-07:00

That is the date I can go back to the gym. I have spent what little free time I have designing my workout and coming up with my playlist to listen to. I have actually given my husband the task of designing the perfect workout playlist full of 80's metal to keep me motivated to lift weights. I CAN NOT wait to get back in the gym.

I was too tired and to busy throwing up to workout while pregnant with Lucy. So I'm counting down the days until I can go back. I think it's because that is really the only alone time I get. No husband to nag...No kids...just me and my music and my daydreams of being a size 6. I've never been that small but I'm trying to be realistic. I don't want to be a size 0. I don't think that's even humanly possible for my body type.

The one thing I'm worried about is my eating. If I have no sleep I graze all day and then feel guilty about the calories. If I get sleep then I'm not hungry all day. I have to force myself to eat. The other day I had a cup of coffee for breakfast, water for a snack, coffee for lunch, water for a snack, three bites of lasagna and a few bites of salad. Oh and coffee for dessert. I'm not doing this on purpose! I swear...I'm not anorexic but I gotta remember to eat because I won't be a very good Mom if I start passing out all the time due to malnutrition. Also I want to lose this weight for good so I know that I need to eat to keep myself fueled through the workouts that I will be starting up.

Well that is all. Just wanted to touch base and get myself back on track with my blogging. I've also started trying to keep track of what I eat. That seems to be helping me a lot more.

Onwards and upwards!!!!

Momentary pause

2010-08-27T13:56:00.000-07:00

I'm pregnant. AGAIN! So my quest to be a skinny girl is being put on hold. I plan to eat healthy since I don't want to have even more weight to lose. I will continue to workout just ease up a little. So my blog is being put on hold while I wait to hatch this egg.

Nice!

2010-07-26T13:45:00.000-07:00

I LOST WEIGHT!!!! Oh man is that awesome! I'm down to 196. Sweet!!!! I love it I love it I LOVE IT!!! It's probably because it's hotter then hell down here. I don't care what it is I'll take it. That scary number of 200 is starting to get farther away. Come on Meggie keep on going! Look out Atomic Cheesecake photoshoot. Here I come! Thirty will never have looked so good!

Onwards and Upwards Homes!!!

Day two...

2010-07-06T07:42:00.000-07:00

So, yesterday went actually well. I stuck to my plan. I drank all my water, ate everything I was supposed too and nothing I wasn't. I also went to the gym and worked out for about an hour. It felt really good to be getting all sweaty again.

Had my SB breakfast this morning and am supposed to have my mid morning snack but I think I will wait because I'm not hungry.

Well back to my cleaning. My house exploded again. I don't know what it is about when my husband is home but the house sure gets messy!!!! ARGH!

Onwards and Upwards.

Day one...again.

2010-07-05T02:46:00.001-07:00

So I have started my day one of South Beach. I have everything ready to go. I'm looking forward to eating healthy.

The thing I love about this diet is it forces me to cook. I have a LOT of really really nice kitchen stuff. My Father in Law even commented on how I have a lot nicer stuff then most people who have been married for 15 years. Thanks in part to getting married and having very generous parents.

I love cooking because my husband likes the way I cook and always makes me feel really good about it. He blames me for fattening him up! Ha! It's really nice to have him smile and say "It's nice to have a home cooked meal." It just makes me feel like a better wife. My Mother was right. The quickest way to a mans heart...Hey I never cooked for any other guys I dated. So I guess you could say "He liked it so much he put a ring on it."

So I'm going back to the gym today. I still have a goal. Just because I didn't get cast in "Chicago" doesn't mean I'm going to role over and die. Oh No! Just the opposite. I'm going to get healthy because I don't want to be a poor role model for Lex. Also my 30th birthday is coming up and I want to do a pin up photoshoot for it. So I would like to lose 10 lbs a month. So I would be down 30lbs. Not as thin as I would like to be but then again the girls on the nose of the plan weren't stick figures! Okay so I'm going back to my coffee with splenda and milk (I usually drink it with vanilla creamer) and my vegetable quiche.

ONWARDS AND UPWARDS!

Well crap.

2010-07-03T20:03:00.001-07:00

I didn't get cast.

Just give me a cupcake.

2010-07-02T15:46:00.000-07:00

So here I am. Still fat. Not taking any steps to change it. Well that's not true....I've been saying out loud that I need to go back to the gym.

Chicago auditions came and went. Somehow I managed to lose 5lbs. Not the 15-20 that I wanted. But I will take it nonetheless. I was amazing at the singing audition. I mean it I nailed it. I always knew I could sing I just didn't realize how powerful I am especially when it's for a show I really want to be in. I was fortunate enough to get a callback about a week later. The ACTUAL callback wasn't for close to two months.

I drove myself nuts thinking about it and sweating about it. I knew what was next. DANCE. Uh oh.

Once upon a time there was a little girl named Meggie. And all Meggie ever wanted to be was an actress on Broadway. So the little girl Meggie took dance classes and was actually a really good dancer. She even had a solo in the Nutcracker as the Flower Princess. She got to wear a tiara and everything. Only further evidence that she was indeed a Princess bishes!!!! Well Meggie grew up. It wasn't cool to wear black leotards and toe shoes. All that's left as evidence are some scars from some pretty nasty blisters. Plus she was living on a beautiful island but couldn't advance her dancing. I COULDA BEEN SOMEBODY!!!! Kidding!

Well since it had been 14 years since this fat girl was in dance class I had two months to sweat the dance portion of the audition. I kept telling myself "You know Fosse. You can do this. It's all in the attitude. Remember quiet restraint quiet restraint quiet restraint." Then reality would sit in. I'm going up against actual dancers. Girls that never stopped dancing. Gulp and an occasional urge to vomit. Constant self doubt and what are you thinking!!! But the day finally came. On my sons first birthday!!!!

So I show up. There were a lot of new faces. A lot younger then me. And very little clothing. So pretty much I was at an underwear party and didn't get the memo. Yep there I am all 198lbs of me...standing next to girls that I easily outweigh by a good 90 lbs. Yeah I'm not exaggerating. At least I had good make up.

I was shaking because I'm ADD and having to learn stuff quickly doesn't bode well. Luckily there were two other women there who were in the same boat as me. We can sing and we can act but the dancing...meh.

So we are shown the steps. And I'll be damned! I was keeping up! Granted it wasn't hard but it was like everything came back to me. I was no where near the best. But I held my own and I know I danced better then others.

Then I was cut.

Now supposedly the people that were asked to stay were being read for roles. Whatever...I don't know what to think. I'm hoping and wishing and praying that I got ensemble.

Or else. That's it for me. My days of theater are over. If I don't get cast this just may be the door that closes for good.

The wait continues...

Well it's a start

2010-03-15T18:28:00.000-07:00

So I joined a gym. AND I've actually been going. I've done Zumba but mainly I've been focusing on the lifting weight portion. I had no idea that you burn more fat and calories when you do 30 mins of cardio and then 30 mins of lifting.

I find myself wanting to work out longer. For instance on Sunday I went to the gym and we were meeting my parents to go to the movies. It was 3:30 and they would be there around 4. I was bummed I had to stop. I felt so good!

At first I wasn't sure how I would feel about joining this particular gym because the front it is all windows. As a matter of fact one of the weight is right next a window and people at the stoplight just stare right in. Aside from that I love it! Plus it's one of the less expensive gyms around!

Tomorrow I am going to try and motivate myself to get up before David goes to work. We'll see! As always...

Onwards and upwards.

On your mark...

2010-02-17T09:34:00.000-08:00

So after many posts about saying "I'm going to start..." I've joined a gym. So has my wonderful hubby! He went this morning and he feels great. Tonight I am taking my first Zumba class. I hope I don't pass out.

My brother is my motivation. While he is type 1 diabetic, I still have to be careful. I still can get type 2 or the one you get for being fat. While I know my blood sugar and blood pressure are always good, I can't bank on that forever. I'm 205 lbs. That is a scary number. A number in which I never wanted to see. I think I always told myself as long as I don't get to 200 I'm okay. Well that's not true. Even when I hovered and danced around it at 198 I still was as unhealthy as I am now. 7 lbs. That's nothing.

I'm not going to slam myself and call myself a fat pig. I'm making the change. I'm not even going to look at pictures of me when I hit my goal and think about that girl I used to be. I'm moving on. In some sort of weird logic I think that if I keep looking at the past perhaps that will eventually end up being my future. Confusing? Yes...let me explain.

People keep pictures and clothes from when they were their heaviest. As a reminder of what not to let themselves get back to. More often then not, unfortunately they don't stay at their ideal goal. Why? I truly think that somehow if you keep the clothes and focus on those pictures it's almost an unconscious invitation for failure.

So, yes I'm fat. Now I am. Later on I won't be. To beat yourself up and always live in fear is not a life you should live. I don't want that. I don't want my child to see me either eating myself to death or living in fear that I will go back to being fat. For most of my life I have either spent it berating myself for being fat, made fun of for being fat and for a brief period of time terrified I would go back to being fat. WHATEVER! Screw that...I want to LIVE. No more shame no more fear. NO MORE!!!

I've given up fast food for Lent. I am interested to see how that goes. I'm really going to have to make the effort to fix myself a snack (healthy) before going to the store.

Most importantly as I stated above I'm doing this for my brother. Diabetes is a real bitch. Excuse my language. Not to get into it since it's my brother's personal affairs. Should the time come and it very well may, that he needs a kidney I hope to be able to give it to him. It's just what family does. But how the hell would I be able to do that if I am 75 lbs overweight? So I have no other choice. This isn't a vanity issue. It started out as being that way but now it's taken on a different direction. So there you go. That's it in a nutshell. Time to really get started on living a healthy lifestyle. As always...

Onwards and upwards.

Hello

2010-02-10T10:39:00.000-08:00

Yep finally got off the couch and started doing instead of saying. If you haven't had a chance to check it out there is a Bollywood workout of Fitv and IT"S AWESOME!!!! I like everyone else out there love dancing instead of working out. So I did that. I'm trying to be better about my eating. Making quinoa instead of potatoes or pastaroni. I also made my self a turkey pita with baby greens and sprouts. Mustard of course. Dinner tonight will be cayenne rubbed chicken with an avocado salsa. I'm also thinking about this for a side and a nice salad. So there ya go. That's what I've done so far today. How are you doin?

Onwards and upwards.

Blizzard.

2010-02-06T17:08:00.000-08:00

This blizzard is not helping me. I keep eating. I know I'm eating out of boredom but I can't stop. Somebody help me!!!

Phew....

2010-01-06T04:52:00.000-08:00

So after much slacking I finally got back on the treadmill this morning. I'm going to ease myself in this week by walking at a fast pace with an incline of at least four. So I guess it was a blessing that the tv woke me up at like 5 am. I cleaned the dishes and got on the treadmill. I do know that I will be taking a morning nap with my little Alexander.

Tomorrow I am finally going to go to the store (Yay payday!) I'm going to get more fish and chicken and fruits and veggies and less red meat and bad food. I'm going to give the old quinoa a try. So I'm off for ideas of how to prepare it and brown rice so David doesn't get bored.

Six months until Lex turns 1. While that is a lot of time...it isn't. However, I'm not going to lose sight of my goal. I don't care if the race is over. I WILL FINISH! I also expect to sleep the entire next day.

Onwards and upwards!

Fatty fatty 2x4

2009-12-28T07:49:00.000-08:00

I've put on a lot of weight. Great. This is not awesome. So instead of waiting until Jan. 1st I am getting started today. This morning I had steel cut oatmeal with a few raspberries and a little bit of honey for some sweetness. Now I am going to change into my workout clothes and get busy. Treadmill, Wii fit, and the Biggest Loser.

I also am going to join a gym. I need some help guiding me on how to get my body conditioned to run a marathon. Plus I like all the aerobics classes they offer. June is coming up quick. I mean my little Alexander is almost 6 months old. This is all for him.

I also have given some thought to once I get inshape maybe looking into becoming a personal trainer. What better motivation to keep in shape. I couldn't be all fat and get people in shape y'know? Later on today I am going to clean out our pantry. No more bad foods for us! As always....

Onwards and upwards.

Seriously?!

2009-11-08T17:30:00.000-08:00

Hello. I don't know what's going on with my body. First I had to stop because out of nowhere my kidneys were acting up. Then my toe got infected (ew.) Now my back is all jacked up.

It saddens me. Not because I haven't been able to exercise to lose weight. It's bothering me that it's November and I have a marathon to run in 7 months. Now I realize that that still is plenty of time. I just had hoped that I would be further a long by now.

Sigh. I have my goal and I will complete. I am thinking of running a 5K around April to see how my progress is going.

My new routine is going to be at least 20 miles a week. That I can do. That's like 2.8 miles a day. I can do that. Plus my Wii fit and Biggest Loser. Look out! Meg is back and ready for action. Well as soon as my back stops aching.

Onwards and upwards

Excuse me while I rant

2009-11-03T19:51:00.000-08:00

Dear Body,

*clears throat* *deep breath*

WHY THE FRICK AM I BARELY LOSING ANY WEIGHT?! I am exercising more then I have like ever. For what?! Nothing!!!! You are not nice! I am trying to help you out and make you look good but NOOOOO! You want to fight me. I'm sorry but keep this up and we will no longer be friends. I'm over you.

Sincerely,

Megan

P.S Onwards and upwards.

Boo

2009-10-12T20:25:00.000-07:00

So I've been so bad eating so much junk food. I can't seem to kick this fat girl eating habits. It's so darn frustrating! I want so badly to be thin again, yet I keep self sabotaging (sp? Is that even a word?) myself. It's my thing...it's what I do.

It doesn't do any good to beat myself up. It's going to take sometime but I can do it!!! I realize that I did just have a baby and I am not rich nor famous so I can't have a personal trainer helping me melt off the weight. It's just me. Plus it took like six years to balloon up to this weight.

More motivation though. I found pictures of me when I was thin. Dang I was a hottie yo! Holla! I'm going to put those pictures of myself on my treadmill to keep me going.

Time for this chubby girl to get some sleep. Not getting proper sleep also contributes to the porkiness. Nite nite.

I'm beat

2009-10-07T11:32:00.000-07:00

I was a bad fat girl yesterday. I made chicken broccoli with bow tie pasta and alfredo sauce. Plus I didn't exercise. Oh well.

Today I have done a half hour of Yoga and then half an hour of Belly dancing. I'm not done yet though! I am going to get on the treadmill while I watch GH.

We still have leftovers of the pasta but I'm going to fill up on salad and only have a cup of pasta. Not too bad.

I'm loving fit tv. It's cheaper then joining a gym or buying DVD's! Plus I don't have to worry about day care.

With the exception of when I was younger and going out dancing at clubs every weekend, I don't think I've ever worked out this much. I'm actually pretty proud of myself! Well it's treadmill time.

Onwards and upwards.

Back in the saddle again...

2009-10-05T13:06:00.000-07:00

So I have been noticeably absent for a month. I would like to say that even though I've been bad at writing I've been good with my diet and exercise. That would be a lie though.

No I've been indulging in chinese food and have had some drinks.

However today is another day. I'm back to eating healthier and exercising. I only did 20 mins today but that's better then nothing. Like for lunch I had a tuna sandwich on wheat with lots of green lettuce. Dinner will be meat loaf and carrots, broccoli, and salad.

So here I go again. As always...

Onwards and upwards.

Bad fat girl bad!

2009-09-02T18:53:00.000-07:00

So I haven't done any excercise or eaten anything healthy since Sunday. Boo!!!! Must get back on the wagon.

Day three

2009-08-26T10:09:00.001-07:00

Wahoo!!!! I feel fan-freaking-tastic!!!! I just ran on the treadmill for 43 mins and burned a total of 255 calories. SparkPeople had me scheduled for 30 mins and 226 calories. I just felt so good I kept going until I felt I had had enough. Then I did all my strength training and then stretched. I tell ya there is nothing better then stretching after a long workout. Phew!

Now for a light lunch and then I'm off to the Post Office. Somethings working though. I don't know if it's the healthy eating I've been doing for the past month or so or the working out but I have that "runners high."

I'm all pumped! WAHOO!!!!!!!!

Day two

2009-08-25T06:19:00.001-07:00

Eh. I'm lazy today. I'm not going to give in. I am going to do my exercises right after I finish posting.

I am so sore. Lord it's like some serious punishment when you try to get into shape. It's as if your body is saying "This is what you get for not taking care of me. This is for everytime you ate a Big Mac when I wanted steamed veggies. This is for you drinking all that beer instead of water. Yarr!" At least I believe that is what my body would say to me. So my muscles are really sore but I am not going to let that stop me. I can watch an episode of "Coupling" while I walk on the treadmill.

Off to exercise. If I'm still tired afterwards I can take a nap. Assuming Turtle allows me to.

Onwards and Upwards,
Meg

End of day one...

2009-08-24T19:21:00.000-07:00

Well it's the end of day one. I ate more calories then I was supposed too, but I am not going to beat myself up. I did more cardio then I was supposed to because I walked to rehearsal on top of walking on the treadmill.

Something strange is happening to me. I enjoy exercise. I have never uttered that in a sentence before. Okay that's not true. I have said things like "People who enjoy exercise are nuts!" I'm becoming one of them. Maybe it's all the granola I've been eating. I'm even contemplating going on a hike. Except I don't have anyone to go with. Plus I don't really do the whole nature thing.

Alright well time for this skinny girl to be to drag herself to bed and watch "Mad Men."

Onwards and Upwards,
Meg

True Day One...

2009-08-24T07:26:00.001-07:00

So today I have decided is the true day one of my quest in leading a healthy lifestyle. I had my usual "Megg McMuffin" (egg beaters, multi-grain English muffin, slice of cheese & two strips of turkey bacon) and my coffee. For a grand total of 580 calories.

I'm not too worried as I also did my exercises. I walked on the treadmill for half an hour and did 6 different strength exercises. This workout was made a lot easier by having the Netflix queue instantly. I watched two episodes of Coupling.

Lunch will be chicken slices on a bed of spring mix with some ranch dressing. Dinner will probably be tilapia and steamed veggies. Two snacks which will be yogurt with granola (yum) and in the evening air popped popcorn. Also I will have a 100 calorie Klondike Bar for dessert.

Hey this is a lot better then what I normally eat.

Onwards and Upwards,
Meg

ew...

2009-08-23T09:38:00.000-07:00

So I started entering in what I've eaten into sparkpeople.com. Whoa! What a shock to the system that was yesterday! I had like double the amount of calories I was supposed to. Yikes! So now that I see it I'm going to try harder to be better about what I eat. More fruit more veggies.

I need to get a scale. I'm off to the store to buy our food. Then I must come home and excercise!!! I must I must I must!!!!

Onwards and Upwards
Meg

The first entry...

2009-08-22T16:45:00.000-07:00

So I am on a quest like many others to lose this weight. So help me I will be thin again!!!! Currently I am around 190 lbs. My goal is drop about 60 lbs. I think 130 would be a good weight for me.

I have joined Sparkpeople.com and am loving the excercise plan even though I haven't done it. The one thing I don't like is how the meal plan is only for one person. I have to feed two. Plus I love the SoBe (South Beach) meals.

My plan is to try and journal my excercise and diet on a daily basis. We shall see how that goes.

My meals for today have been terrible. A latte and blueberry muffin from Hyperion for breakfast, fish tacos from Soup & Taco for lunch and my left over Singapore Rice Noodles from Fortune Gourmet. Eh...I'm supporting local shops at least!

I will however get on the treadmill after dinner to make up for the bad eating I did. Monday I start back up.

I need to get a really nice pair of running shoes. Plus I need to get serious about my marathon training. So here I go!!!!

Onwards and Upwards

Meg