Nice!

I LOST WEIGHT!!!! Oh man is that awesome! I'm down to 196. Sweet!!!! I love it I love it I LOVE IT!!! It's probably because it's hotter then hell down here. I don't care what it is I'll take it. That scary number of 200 is starting to get farther away. Come on Meggie keep on going! Look out Atomic Cheesecake photoshoot. Here I come! Thirty will never have looked so good!

Onwards and Upwards Homes!!!

Day two...

So, yesterday went actually well. I stuck to my plan. I drank all my water, ate everything I was supposed too and nothing I wasn't. I also went to the gym and worked out for about an hour. It felt really good to be getting all sweaty again.

Had my SB breakfast this morning and am supposed to have my mid morning snack but I think I will wait because I'm not hungry.

Well back to my cleaning. My house exploded again. I don't know what it is about when my husband is home but the house sure gets messy!!!! ARGH!

Onwards and Upwards.

Day one...again.

So I have started my day one of South Beach. I have everything ready to go. I'm looking forward to eating healthy.

The thing I love about this diet is it forces me to cook. I have a LOT of really really nice kitchen stuff. My Father in Law even commented on how I have a lot nicer stuff then most people who have been married for 15 years. Thanks in part to getting married and having very generous parents.

I love cooking because my husband likes the way I cook and always makes me feel really good about it. He blames me for fattening him up! Ha! It's really nice to have him smile and say "It's nice to have a home cooked meal." It just makes me feel like a better wife. My Mother was right. The quickest way to a mans heart...Hey I never cooked for any other guys I dated. So I guess you could say "He liked it so much he put a ring on it."

So I'm going back to the gym today. I still have a goal. Just because I didn't get cast in "Chicago" doesn't mean I'm going to role over and die. Oh No! Just the opposite. I'm going to get healthy because I don't want to be a poor role model for Lex. Also my 30th birthday is coming up and I want to do a pin up photoshoot for it. So I would like to lose 10 lbs a month. So I would be down 30lbs. Not as thin as I would like to be but then again the girls on the nose of the plan weren't stick figures! Okay so I'm going back to my coffee with splenda and milk (I usually drink it with vanilla creamer) and my vegetable quiche.

ONWARDS AND UPWARDS!

Well crap.

I didn't get cast.

Just give me a cupcake.

So here I am. Still fat. Not taking any steps to change it. Well that's not true....I've been saying out loud that I need to go back to the gym.

Chicago auditions came and went. Somehow I managed to lose 5lbs. Not the 15-20 that I wanted. But I will take it nonetheless. I was amazing at the singing audition. I mean it I nailed it. I always knew I could sing I just didn't realize how powerful I am especially when it's for a show I really want to be in. I was fortunate enough to get a callback about a week later. The ACTUAL callback wasn't for close to two months.

I drove myself nuts thinking about it and sweating about it. I knew what was next. DANCE. Uh oh.

Once upon a time there was a little girl named Meggie. And all Meggie ever wanted to be was an actress on Broadway. So the little girl Meggie took dance classes and was actually a really good dancer. She even had a solo in the Nutcracker as the Flower Princess. She got to wear a tiara and everything. Only further evidence that she was indeed a Princess bishes!!!! Well Meggie grew up. It wasn't cool to wear black leotards and toe shoes. All that's left as evidence are some scars from some pretty nasty blisters. Plus she was living on a beautiful island but couldn't advance her dancing. I COULDA BEEN SOMEBODY!!!! Kidding!

Well since it had been 14 years since this fat girl was in dance class I had two months to sweat the dance portion of the audition. I kept telling myself "You know Fosse. You can do this. It's all in the attitude. Remember quiet restraint quiet restraint quiet restraint." Then reality would sit in. I'm going up against actual dancers. Girls that never stopped dancing. Gulp and an occasional urge to vomit. Constant self doubt and what are you thinking!!! But the day finally came. On my sons first birthday!!!!

So I show up. There were a lot of new faces. A lot younger then me. And very little clothing. So pretty much I was at an underwear party and didn't get the memo. Yep there I am all 198lbs of me...standing next to girls that I easily outweigh by a good 90 lbs. Yeah I'm not exaggerating. At least I had good make up.

I was shaking because I'm ADD and having to learn stuff quickly doesn't bode well. Luckily there were two other women there who were in the same boat as me. We can sing and we can act but the dancing...meh.

So we are shown the steps. And I'll be damned! I was keeping up! Granted it wasn't hard but it was like everything came back to me. I was no where near the best. But I held my own and I know I danced better then others.

Then I was cut.

Now supposedly the people that were asked to stay were being read for roles. Whatever...I don't know what to think. I'm hoping and wishing and praying that I got ensemble.

Or else. That's it for me. My days of theater are over. If I don't get cast this just may be the door that closes for good.

The wait continues...